Slightly Below Average IQ Meets Cosmo Cover Girl
by SirCat
Summary: Puck's on cloud nine when Quinn asks him to baby-sit with her- make that cloud ten when he sees Rachel in her new look for Finn.


Best. Day. _Ever._ First off, Quinn asks him to baby-sit with her on Friday. Score! Maybe afterwards she'll finally drop Finn and be with him-- he is the real dad after all, he deserves it. Her whole scheme about Finn's sperm _swimming_ around in a hot tub causing the kid now growing inside of her was crap, and he couldn't believe the dumb ass was actually buying it. But this baby-sitting gig was gonna be worth it when she saw what an awesome dad he could be. Puck was a natural with little kids; they adored him. He was like Captain Kirk, in Star Trek. Except all kids loved him, instead of all the women loving him. No, actually the woman part was true as well. Who knows, maybe he'd end the night with his shirt off like Kirk managed to do every episode.

Puck's mood was off the charts (in a good, positive way) as he walked into Glee a few minutes early, ready for anything. Or at least, he thought he was. Standing at the head of the choir room, writing notes on the board, was Rachel Berry. Of course this wasn't the mind-blowing part, since Rachel always came to Glee a bit earlier than she needed to. The mind-blowing part was the chick's _outfit._ He couldn't even describe what the hell she was wearing, just this tight, black, slinky... thing. And he _liked_ that thing. _A lot._ He cleared his throat as he stepped over the threshold into the classroom. Rachel turned, her face alit, then fell at the sight of him. Puck didn't really notice, or care, because now that she was facing him her ass was no longer visible, but an even better sight was presented-- the girl's boobs. _Gift from God._

"Oh, hello Noah."

"Hello to you, Berry. Trying out a new look?"

"Yes, but not for your own personal pleasure. This makeover is for personal advancement exclusively."

"Uh-huh." murmured Puck, not really listening to anything that was coming out of her mouth, and only really concentrating on how pink and puffy her lips were, like they were tempting him.

"Why have you arrived to Glee practice ahead of time? Routinely you arrive right on the dot. Frequently in the last two weeks exactly thirty-two seconds late." At this, Puck actually looked into her eyes. The brown color of her eyes stood out against her pale face, giving her a look of false, toying innocence. He raised an eyebrow at her.

"You keep track of what time I come to Glee?"

"As an active member in this club it is a personal responsibility that I feel to keep of track of all members' comings and goings. For example, Santana and Brittany always arrive a minute early so they can show off their pristine dancing ability while appearing casual. It's a smart way to show-off. Kurt and Mercedes come right on time, as to make an extravagant entrance. Tina and Artie--"

"Okay, I get your point." he paused. "So why did you change your look for-- personal advancing-- or whatever?"

"Personal advancement exclusively. I felt that an altering in my outward appearance would bring a new surge of confidence to the club. With our Hair number we need to feel domineering and self-assured. Me, being the star, might inspire others to feel that way." There was a moment of silence as Rachel finished her job at the chalkboard and walked to take a seat, front and center, her heels making those soft clicks that Puck found sexy on a woman.

"Was it because of Finn?" he asked, sidling over to sit next to her. Rachel looked down, staring at her exposed knees.

"You make fine presumptions Noah, despite your slightly below average IQ." she said after a moment, clasping her hands in her lap.

"Thought so. Look, Rachel, you are one smokin' hot babe like, like a Cosmo cover girl or something, that I would be killing to make out with if you weren't so annoying, and in love with my best friend, but I gotta tell ya, Finn doesn't really go for--"

"Hey guys." Finn was standing in the doorway, grinning. He was staring at Rachel, a gleam in his eyes that was almost hungry.

"Finn! Hello." Rachel beamed at him, clearly forgetting her previous conversation with Puck. As more people filed in Puck moved back to the farther rows, but he kept his eyes on Rachel for a good deal of the hour. Her gaze never left Finn.


End file.
